Entire Dublin School Board Replaced by Machine Learning-Powered “AI Trustee Engine”
DUBLIN, CA–The Dublin Unified School District, having lost two Board Trustees to mid-term resignations and just last week its Superintendent, announced today that the entire Board will be replaced by a machine learning-powered “AI Trustee Engine” provided by Silicon Valley startup HalBoard.net.
In a statement released by the Board explaining the radical move, “Due to a significant decline in civility during Board meetings, the negative feedback from the community, and the toxic nature of social media we have decided that HalBoard.net is the perfect technology to replace the traditional human-based model of education governance.”
HalBoard.net Chief Edu-Technologist Elun Mosk confirmed, “Machine learning models, which are at the heart of so many technology advancements, are the perfect fit for replacing School Board Trustees. We’ve trained our model using examples of how the most toxicity-resistant Trustees interact with the public. Our virtual Trustees work 24×7 – literally – for the community.”
During elections, the community votes on virtual candidates that have been auto-generated based on the social network profiles of each district’s constituents. HalBoard.net even supports virtual debates between the virtual candidates, as well as virtual lawn signs that can be placed on social network profiles. It is still possible to recall a virtual Trustee, at which point a cost effective virtual interim election is held. Donations to virtual candidates are made exclusively using bitcoin.
HalBoard.net offers a full suite of Board of Trustees features including:
- 100% email response rate in milliseconds: every constituent email, regardless of how abusive, toxic or off topic, gets a personalized machine-generated response. In extensive testing even the most toxic internet commentary is unable to trigger a negative response from HalBoard.net
- Virtual Trustee robots can be rented for school visits and ribbon-cuttings. The robots are designed to smile and congratulate with human-level empathy and enthusiasm. There are no longer scheduling challenges – the same Trustee can appear at multiple events simultaneously with discounts for bulk robot rentals.
- Accelerated School Board Meetings. Human-based Board of Trustees meetings take hours – with HalBoard.net debates are over in milliseconds providing more time for community member presentations, comments and grandstanding.
More information about HalBoard.net is, of course, available only online.
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OneDublin.org 
I’d vote for this. 🙂
I enjoy April Fool pranks.
However, those of us who have dedicated a significant part of their life to the children of Dublin, I am appalled tha One Dublin group does something this insensitive.
Have you grown hardened by life?
John Ledahl
Give it a second read – the post was a commentary on the toxic environment Board Trustees face, esp. in the last couple of years.
Ha ha ha! OneDublin, you did it again! With all the challenges we face, I am grateful for our human school board.
The toxic environment is self inflicted. Dublin tax payers got jacked on the last bond. A second high school is going to need another bond for it to be a reality. Anyone that says it doesn’t, is probably the same person that lied to you about the first bond.